No Hope
by Duchess-Ahsoka
Summary: Vader light or dark fic, rated for Character Death s First person, past tense. Chad Vader Appearence. Vader must take a journey, physically and mentally.


_A/N_

_EDITED TO BE PUT IN FIRST PERSON (or whatever person it is..) ADDED SOME STUFF TOO!_

_Because this is now a one-shot, I just added some stuff at the end ;) An __appearence__ by Chad Vader._

_So the italics NORMALLY mean Vader's inputting, as he is narrating, but sometimes they are memories._ CHARACTER DEATH(s)

**No Hope**

I heard Chad Vader scream in outrage, as I, his older brother, knocked his lightsaber out of his hand.

"Anakin! Stop!"

"Stop what?" I taunted my brother; more like my twin, seeing we both wore the same armor.

We were both stuck in the black suits to live; but we both had very different stories.

I, Anakin Skywalker, better known as Darth Vader, had fought an epic battle against my former master, defending my choice of going to the Sith.

Obi-Wan had cut me down, both my arms and my legs, leaving me to die in the burning lava. Darth Sidious had saved me just in time, and I had made a miraculous recovery.  
Not miraculous to escape living in that blasted suit, though.

Chad had fallen into a volcano while riding his bike... I sent him a spare suit, saving my younger brother's life.

Chad and I continued on in our lives, barely communicating. _I chose my path, and he chose his._

_I chose a path of darkness. A path that I now wish I wouldn't have taken. It would have spared me so much hurt._  
Chad chose a normal path, as a manager at Imperial Markets.  
But after Chad lost his job (again), he went to live with me.

I insisted on training him relentlessly, telling him if he ever wanted to be something, he would have to work for it. My endless taunting got on his nerves, but at least he had a place to stay, with family.

_Family. How I treasure that word, now. Now I know what could have been, if only had I chosen differently._

General Tarkin walked in, and stood at attention, saluting.

"Stand down." I commanded.

"Sir." said Tarkin, and stood at ease.

Tarkin spoke again. "Lord Vader, I bring news."  
Chad and I both spoke at the same moment.

"Yes, General?"  
I turned around, and gave Chad what an evil glare, only it wasn't visible through my mask. But I got the meaning across clearly.

"Sorry." whispered Chad.

_No, Chad. It is I who am sorry._

I shook my head, and force pushed him through the window.

"All too easy." I spoke, as my brother shouted insults at me in Huttese.

"Sir?" asked Tarkin.

"I did not give you permission to speak." I growled.

Tarkin stepped back.  
"Leave me, General." I hissed.  
Tarkin opened his mouth, as if to protest, then changed his mind and walked out of the room.

I pulled the nearest chair to me with the Force, slumped down it, resting my head in my black gloved hands.  
Ever since Chad had came, the orderly life I was used to was turned upside down, and inside out.

I reflected on the past few months.  
One day, my "twin brother" had came flying in, feeling upset.  
Chad's trips to the Death Star always ended in disaster.

A dark foreboding came upon me upon hearing that Chad wanted to stay.

The dash of mercy and light left in me fought against the dark, and I decided to let Chad stay.

Chad had brought chaos onto the Death Star from the moment he arrived.

I sighed as I remembered how Chad had 'accidentally' managed to start a food fight in the cafe the first day he arrived.

How Chad would run into my Meditation Room, which was strictly off limits, trying to hide from Imperial Stormtroopers.

Chad would get into trouble, and I would get blamed, looking just like my brother, but a few inches taller.

I wondered what I'd done to deserve this.

I jumped when I heard my old Master's voice, hallow sounding, yet nevertheless my Master's voice sounding through the darkness.

"Well, Anakin, you killed your Master, your Wife, and along with her, your children."  
"Child." I spoke, still in shock.

"No, Vader. Twins"

"Impossible." I shouted.

"No. If you would have not taken this path, Anakin, you would be living happily on Naboo, with Luke and Leia, your twins, with Padme still alive, and many years left for the both of you!" shouted Obi-Wan.

"Liar!" I screamed.

"I do not lie. I only show the truth. Padme still loved you, you know, when she died. Her last words were, "I know he has good in him still."

I lost it then, screaming out, "I hate you, old man!"

"Still the same, I see. I hoped your brother would bring about a change in heart." said Kenobi.

"But he hasn't."

"I regret it. Anakin, I am dissapointed in you."

With that, Obi-Wan disappeared.

I sat in my chair, still half in shock, wondering what in the name of the Force had just transpired.  
My old Master had told me words of truth, I knew that.

And that was what hurt the most, knowing what I could have had, what he should have had.

_It still hurts now, knowing that it could have been a reality._  
My chest heaved as I tried to quiet my dry sobs.

I missed her, oh I did.  
My angel, my love, my princess.

She'd fought at my side, and in the end I killed her.

"Oh Padme." I spoke. "I see what could have been. I see. And I'm sorry." I fell to my knees.

"Padme, forgive me. I'm sorry. I wish... I wish I would have chosen differently! I want to know you! I want to know the twins! But I can't... I'm sorry, love. Forgive me!" I begged, before passing out.

I woke up at the feet of my Master, Emperor Palpatine.

"Vader..." the old man drawled. I scrambled to my feet, bowing.

"Such a weak show of emotion for the long gone. It is not the Sith way!"

I started to apologize, but the Emperor cut me off.

"I don't want to hear your feeble apologies! This show of sorrow for the past, the compassion you showed your brother..." The distaste was strong in Palpatine's voice as he spoke the word "brother."

"You will go to the Sith Retreat on Naboo. Chad will stay and carry on like normal."  
I nodded, very upset.

My master knew how much it bothered me to be on Naboo. It reminded of me Master's betrayal. It reminded me of my beloveds betrayal. We would still be together, happily raising the twins, if Padme hadn't brought that monster Kenobi to Mustafar...

The Emperor smiled evily. "Yes, yes! Feed on your hate! Journey back up the path to the Dark side!"

I nodded, and went to prepare my ship, a modified TIE fighter, for flight, all the way feeding off my hate. I couldn't understand my moment of weakness. I hated those little monsters that had never been born; I hated that monster that was my former Master; I hated that monster that claimed to love him.

_I am sorry. I regret the past, yet there is nothing I can do to change it._

I growled as I thought her name.

Padme.

_Padme__, I deeply, __truely__ love you._

The few steps I had taken towards the Light Side, was counter acted with many, many, steps back up the Dark Side.

For nothing short of a miracle could bring me back to the Light Side; and without anything left that I cared about to change my mind, there was no hope for me.

No hope.

____  
I growled as I landed on the smooth plains of Naboo.

I hated it here. I hated all the memories. I hated everything about this place.

As it was already late when I landed, I headed straight to bed, hissing as I saw the place Palpatine had chosen for me to stay.

It was the place where Padme and I...

_She pulled back from the first kiss, a shocked expression on her face. "No, I shouldn't have done that." she speaks._

_As I looked at her, I spoke._ _"I'm sorry. When I'm around you, my mind is no  
longer my own."_

I shook my head clearing my head of such thoughts.

As I layed down, again I remembered.

_As I fell off the beast, I held deathly still.  
I heard __Padme__ yell, "__Ani__? __Ani__? __Ani__, are you alright?"_

_As she ran over I couldn't control my laughter anymore._

What am I thinking? I asked myself.

That is the past, it is gone and done.

I turned on my comm, only to see an Imperial Officer.

I sighed. "What do you want."  
"Sir, I've called to inform you of a possible relation to you, living on the Death Star, Chad Vader."  
"My brother. What about him?"

"He's dead, sir."  
"What?"  
"Electrified."

"How? I thought the Death Star was fully secure."

"It is sir."

With that, I cut the comm.

I let the depression tear through my being, ripping me apart.

I shook with sobs.

First Padme, and then Chad?  
My master's words flashed into my head.

'Sith have no regret. Sith have no past. Sith feed off of anger and hatred.'

I stopped crying, cursing myself for the second moment of weakness.

My comm flickered again. It was my Master.  
"Vader."  
"Yes, my Master?" I asked.

"We have been informed of a Jedi on this planet."  
"Yes, my Master."  
"She should be easy, she was only a Padawan at the time of Order 66."  
"She survived?"  
"Obviously. She was... close... to her master's captain..."  
"Close?"  
"Romantically. I believe they are now married, and have two young children."  
"Her Master didn't know?"  
"He was... otherwise occupied..."  
"Did he survive?"  
"In a way."

"I will find her."

"Leave no survivors."  
______

I reached the Jedi's house. It was very insecure, and I was easily able to slip through a ground-floor window, lightsaber activated.

I found a youngling, strong in the Force, sleeping in the room I was in.

I couldn't help but looking at her before I killed her, and I noticed how she seemed Togrutan, maybe Twi'lek, but with human-like aspects.

Her skin was a muted orange, not as bright as Ahs- I remember telling myself to stop remembering the past.

I swung my blade.

The child never knew what had happened.

_At least now she is forever with her family_.

I carried on, finding two more children. A blue-skinned child, looking rather like the orange skinned one, and a more human one, who looked almost like my old captain. Again, I told my self to forget the past.

My lightsaber swung twice.

Quick and painless death, surprisingly merciful.

I walked to the door of the master bedroom suit, and listened.

"I sense something wrong in the Force." the female sobbed.

"Don't worry, Aay, what could it be?"  
"I sense a presence, familiar, yet changed."

"Who?"

"I don't know! I'm too upset!" she was still crying.

"It's OK..."  
"No, it's not, something in the Force changed. Something permanent. It felt like the children."

"Shush, baby girl, it's all going to be find." I heard the rustling of silk sheets, and assumed the man had hugged this 'Aay.'

"Thank you."  
I sprung in, lightsaber buzzing.

She screamed, and he threw himself in front of her, taking half the blow.

My lightsaber cut him, killing him instantly.  
I gazed upon her familiar face, and gasped.

He hadn't taken all the blow, though, and her last words were.

"Anakin. Realize we all forgive you, and no one holds anything against you. Please, come back to the Light Side. Please, Anakin, please."

With that, another life ended at my hands.

I took a deep breath, realizing that I was forgiven for all I've done.

And if that hard-headed little girl had just forgiven me, I was sure Padme and the others could.

I made my choice that day.

_A/N. Bit of a __cliffy__, and it's stuck that way :D! I'm not planning on adding more, but if you liked it and want a sequel, tell me._

_Yes, I meant for the girl to be Ahsoka, but I left it open for you. It could be you (if you're female..), Ahsoka, __Shaak__ Ti, __Aayla__Secura__._

_The man was meant to be Rex. (__lol__) again, it's open. It could be you, (if you're male..) Rex, Cody, any captain (well, Cody's technically a commander...)_

_And the nickname, "__Aay__?" Well, make something up for why he calls her that. _

_Mine:  
Ahsoka, he calls her that because A is the first letter in her name._

_Aayla__, do I even have to explain? __AAYla__._

_Shaak__ Ti, __uhhhh__, __ShAAk__ Ti? __lol__..._

_You? Make it up! __lol_

_Review if you want, it really is appreciated._


End file.
